Sunday, 19 December 2010

Fantasies: ALL business

I've noticed a trend recently. When I fantasize, i.e. when I am getting off (or trying to), it's almost always clients who feature most prominently. I guess that more than a year into escorting I am still shocked that 99% of my sessions are fun, satisfying, and with people I am really attracted to. When I began, I had SO MANY misconceptions about sex work. I just thought that those things didn't apply to me. When I began, I still thought that many hookers, strippers, porn stars, etc. were likely just cokeheads with hot bodies who probably didn't enjoy what they were doing. I'm not sure why I thought I was the exception. Meeting other like-minded sex workers completely opened my eyes. But then, my eyes have opened to many of the biases and judgments I carry around over the past year. I thought only people who HAD to pay for sex (whatever that means) paid for sex. But no. I remember seeing Brown Eyes, my second or third client, ever, and thinking "holy crap! he must be a cop!" WHY would such a GORGEOUS man be paying for sex? Especially sex with someone like me (me being much less confident at the time), i.e. someone many men wouldn't even admit to being attracted to?

It still baffles me at times. I think much of it is the anonymity. Maybe a lot of my clients wouldn't want to date or otherwise spend time with me, so they feel they should compensate me. Many are married or attached. Some just have a specific fantasy. I'm sure a huge chunk of them fear rejection. But this is not what this post is about.

Fantasies. Lately they involved the following: twitchy dicks, poking, warming and tickling my thighs and ass. Female nipples and clits, being licked and sucked, by me, to perfect orgasms, no reciprocation required. Two of my favorite clients ever, the new one from last night, let's call him Crème Brulée, and Nate, the golden shower enthusiast. I picture Nate under me, licking me, drinking my piss, and Crème Brulée, sitting on his chest, kissing my lips and nipples, and maybe even playing with Nate's equally formidable cock. I think those two together might literally be too much for me to handle, and don't think either of them is bi. Pity. Would I have a heart attack in the face of so much sexiness? Other fantasies involve the Unicorn, Dinar, and a young man I will call Pompadour who came by a few weeks ago to service me. Even after he came, he stuck around to make me come. Rare in guys who aren't paying.

I dunno. For all of my open-mindedness it still seems weird to me that the sex I get paid for is almost always better than the sex I end up having for free. I'd argue that I get off on the anonymity, but the longer I see clients, the hotter our connections seem to become.

So yeah. If you rocked my world, chances are you get me off even when you're not around. I still can not believe the boy from last night. Un-fucking-believable.

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